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HOLTZ: You know what I just did? STACEY: I am literally about to leave. Get a taste for lion! Beoop beoop beoop! AURA: I do think they’re funny. JED: Hello, so special friend Aura. You get back here, and you make love to my wife! Arnold Palmer alert, Arnold Palmer alert, who wants some Arnie Palmies? JULES: Why was Joni there? Except two years later, the company’s worth $500 million, and Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. You stick your right foot out, you stop it in mid-flight, it bounces about a foot up off your leg, you come back, you whack it in, the most perfect volley in the world, in it goes! SID: AIDS, poverty, climate change, who cares? NIC (changing the subject): Wait a second, I have to say again, I don’t like him. Dissecting what makes people laugh pretty much ruins any humor you’re trying to examine. I may or may not have been drinking when I decided to do this. AURA: Yeah, I don’t know. It’s a goal. ASHLYNN: I can see why. What I’m sayin’ is, if you’ll listen, is that if they didn’t exist, you people would ’ave to invent them. Arnold Palmer alert, Arnold Palmer alert! Hope you enjoy it okay, first off a Lion? Who wants some Arnie Palmies? ( Log Out /  STORGE: That is absolute rubbish. ANDRA (to Mrs. Portman): What have ya got? You can upload anything that interests you, Enhance your text with annotations & notes, Improve any text by working together with other annotators. (she turns up the volume on the TV) Let me ask you, what do you do around here other than interrupt people? AMELIA: The British government will cooperate fully with the investigation. Since 1994, Fort Worth Weekly has provided a vibrant alternative to North Texas’ often-timid mainstream media outlets by offering incisive, irreverent reportage that keeps readers well informed and the powers-that-be worried. Poll: What ratings would you put on these movies below 1 being awful to 10 stunned amazed.? JULES: Yeah, okay. Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a pair of thigh-highs. It was really lame, and he really liked my monologue. SEAN: Suckin’ up to ad execs. (pause) Laser, your mom and I sense that there’s some other stuff going on in your life. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot wave. Lions don't like to swim! No problem! REBECCA: Sure. What they do want is to get on peacefully with their daily lives, and we support that. And guess what? Going up against a full grown 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? And then l'd bang your tuna girlfriend. I also thought it would be funny to write it out using my military transcription techniques. LASER (a moment to steel himself): Why do you guys watch gay man porn? BARRY (pointing at Hassan): He’s being rendered! Girl I loved in high school was with the co-captain of the varsity lacrosse team, and I wanted to take her from him. God, no. lion tastes good. Aura! Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? Just ’cause I’m a Muslim, you thought it was real. I know it’s early, but I don’t think anything can get in the way of how I … shit! swimming in the ocean? Beautiful! This is one of the funniest scenes from “The Other Guys” starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. JED: Uh, top-secret business. GAMBLE: And said, “You know what? GAMBLE: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. You idiot! How’s your sandwich, Grandma? It may not have been good business, but it pissed a lot of people off. RUTH: Well, just about every country in the world recognizes the ICC. ( Log Out /  Change ). You're probably right, Terry. That twat got what he deserved! This is a Monologue from the Other Guys! (He walks over to another part of the store and finds himself face to face with Ramona.) NIC: Okay. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. You know that, right? Yes! And I said, ‘You know what?! ASHLYNN: You’ve seen those? SCOTT: I know. ENVY (indicating her): So that’s Ramona. You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. CHARLOTTE (offscreen): Oh my God. ENVY: Okay, I’m jealous. You are out gunned and outmanned. Grown-ups’ll take it from here.” But not this time. LASER: Yeah, I know. Do you live and breathe Facebook? The Ghost Writer was adapted by Robert Harris from his own novel, and the writer wisely kept his own bon mots. If you were a tuna, I would go to the Ocean, swim out there, eat you, and your tuna family and friends, then hump your tuna girlfriend. There’s a tiny pop, and party streamers go flying harmlessly in all directions from the fake bomb.) ADAM: Well, what the hell are we supposed to be discussing? That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, I'd swim out to the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! If there’s one good comedy a year now that seems to be a triumph. I, uh, make a wicked pot of decaf. (remembers) My God! If we were in the wild, I would attack you. It’s a tragedy when it’s somebody young. CHARLOTTE (to the others): This girl has been my best friend since I’m one. Enter your email to subscribe to me and receive notifications when I do something amazing. (She points to a CD with Envy Adams on the cover.) You can't keep me cooped up in here all day! (The crowd screams as he detonates the device. [pauses] Did that turn out how you hoped? They’re scared of me, pal, and they’re gonna be scared of you. RAMONA: The big one? AURA: It’s true. You know, anything on your mind. What the VCs want is to say, “Good idea, kid. BARRY (after a moment): Mashallah, brother! No Problem. ADAM: Oh, God. Just saw it at http://www.clicktowatchmovie.com/the-other-guys, i dont remember but that was so hilarious x] i loved that movie. AURA: I am really sad. REBECCA: Okay. This is a Monologue from the Other Guys! One of the many clever features is the way the movie bleeps out Julie’s obscenities with a sound effect and a black bar that appears on the screen over her mouth. You’ve wandered into our school of tuna, and now we have a taste of lion. And then l'd bang your tuna girlfriend. You come to our house, you get my wife's name right! AURA: Yeah, I think so. CANTONA (shakes his head): It was a pass. And then, like… I will admit to being inspired by a similar feature in the New York Times’ recap of the year’s movies, but my list isn’t limited by the space requirements of the printed page. It’s so much more convenient. You lose that battle. Zero. He can get a little grumpy sometimes, but kind of in a cool way. Here’s a taste of why. Clip Description Terry (Mark Wahlberg) confronts Allen (Will Ferrell) letting him know that he doesn't like him and thinks he is a fake cop. ANDRA: It’s the truth. Nowhere is this better exemplified than in this scene where Wahlberg’s character tries to chew out his partner and is rebutted with one of the greatest absurdist rants in recent memory. Look, I’m having a meltdown or whatever. I’m not trying to say that all comedies should be about depressing subjects, just that Hollywood does not take comedies seriously anymore. BARRY: I’m not sayin’ they don’t exist. Hey! Holtz: If I were a lion, I would hunt you. He’s so witty and so special, just like you. Even if you weren't in my food chain, l would go out of my way to attack you. Twenty-foot waves? I can say big loud things! In this scene, former British prime minister Adam Lang, his wife Ruth, and chief of staff Amelia are being advised by his lawyer Sid (accompanied by his staffers Josh and Connie) about a war crimes investigation pending against him. This is an early scene from The Other Guys, where disgraced NYPD detective Holtz has just been mismatched with forensic accountant Gamble, and the male trash talk goes to surreal extremes — the last line couldn’t be more appropriate.

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