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Good advice and yeah i'll be getting legal advice on this. This leaves you feeling vulnerable and, instead of this drawing you two together, it seems to have opened a chasm of suspicion. Your IP: 185.63.46.193 He’s my little man. Is my daughter’s skin-picking a sign of a more serious problem? Does this change how you feel about your son? It’s probably never a good idea to snoop in someone’s diary – you’re almost guaranteed to find out something that you really didn’t need to know or get your feelings hurt. For the last four years, you’ve been a father to your child. Found out child is not mine, can I stop paying child support My son of 13 years is not mine biologically. We had a DNA test done and it was confirmed, 99.999% he is not mine. Even if it were explained to him, he wouldn’t grasp it. This name will appear beside any comments you post. “After five years I found out the child was not mine,” the man wrote. • You may need to download version 2.0 now from the Chrome Web Store. If this came as news to the mom and she decided to track down the kid's biological dad, would you want her to? Can anyone tell you definitively what is right in this situation? "She cheated on me at a party. Edit: Seriously, talk to a lawyer before you tell At the very least, you and your wife will need to have a lot of discussion before undertaking a DNA test on your son. First things first, I will continue to be in the child’s life. Give it a go, Dated Dalkey house with sea view potential for €1.6m, Save for your retirement the right way with a responsible investment approach, Chris Ryder obituary: reporting during Troubles made journalist IRA target, Frank Bough obituary: Unruffled broadcaster combined geniality with professionalism, Margaret Ann Nolan obituary: Appeared in Goldfinger and Carry On films, Frequently asked questions about your digital subscription, Specially selected and available only to our subscribers, Exclusive offers, discounts and invitations, Explore the features of your subscription, Carefully curated selections of Irish Times writing, Sign up to get the stories you want delivered to your inbox, An exact digital replica of the printed paper. Will that prove her innocence and will your suspicion stop immediately or is it likely that she will not trust a man who demands such a thing of her? The mother—my girlfriend—has to back-pay me, yet that doesn’t make me feel any better. Problem I want to have a DNA test done on my youngest son (7). It hurts me that one day I will have to tell him I'm not his father. In this way your mental chatter can be challenged and you can get some sense of whether you are behaving in a reasonable way or whether you are suffering from insecurity and doubt. No. Will she agree to such a test? I Found Out my Child Is Not Biologically Mine. Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password. There will be laughs, disagreements and you can meet the hosts afterwards! ", "My girlfriend doesn't think I know out daughter isn't mine. The rest will play out as it may. ", "I don't want to get a DNA test done on my child, because I'm scared it'll tell me she's not really mine. ", Property News:  A stunning Gordon's Bay home with an epic ocean outlook - domain.com.au. This is what I was trying to say, u/JamieBobs. ", "Secret DNA test proves that the baby ain't mine, but that must mean it's his and I can't let this little girl have a drug dealing father. The true father should be giving child support checks to this child-not you. But obviously some explanation will be needed if another man is sniffing around. Can you imagine telling him that you do not love him anymore? ", "I have a child tell me he loves me so much. Especially the mother. If you desire to continue the relationship as the child’s father or have any role in his life, there will be complications and a lot of confusion. You will need very good judgment in order to decide what to do next and our intelligence can be hampered by fear, suspicion and a need for protection. See the update in the original post for the conclusion I am currently at. This really sucks. It took ten years, but I finally met my blood mother, and the man she told me was my father. He stopped sending $ once it went through the courts but said he still fully financially supports her. I was with my ex-fiance on and off for 4 years. “Found out the little girl I was raising isn’t mine when I found my gf’s journal,” a man revealed on anonymous site Whisper. If you want to cut ties with mom and kid, there's a good chance that a court could rule against you and keep you on the hook for child support. My ex and I have been divorced for a couple years now and I have had my doubts about whether or not my son is biologically mine. Maybe in a few years. Very likely. Estranged from my adopted family, I adopted my blood father's surname. I was born to a hippie mother with a father who was absent - disinterested, actually. The last seven years have been full of pain for you as you feel the distance growing between you and your wife. I am leaning towards telling my son, but not right now. i was with a girl for 4 years, we had problems like any oother couples u kow. I have tried to tell myself that she is not betraying me but more and more I feel like a fool for believing her when she says she is not doing anything wrong. I'd much rather he find out from me than someone else. It may cause problems for you, the child, your family, your significant other and possibly other partners you've had. Those men are decent, loving men. I do know she's not mine but I love my daughter so much, I could never say someone else is her father. “Her excuse was ‘I just said I was pregnant, I never said the baby was yours. When you have reset your password, you can, Please choose a screen name. "Secret DNA test proves that the baby ain't mine, but that means it's his, and I can't let this little girl have a drug dealing father," one man shared. Go from there, This is the best advice so far. I get why you’ve withdrawn from the child and likely his mother. Don’t say a word to ANYONE other than your lawyer. Go talk to a lawyer. Yesterday I appeared in court to have a DNA test result read. But who is suffering the most here, who will suffer the most in the long run if you choose to opt out, are you and the child. i just found out my son of almost 5 years is not mine.how do you cope? The account details entered are not currently associated with an Irish Times subscription. A bond not easily broken. These men have 'adopted' the children into their hearts and are committed to being their dads. She cheated on me at a party. For some men, finding out that they're not the biological father didn't change their feelings. ‘My marriage struggled during the first lockdown ... I’m scared it won’t survive the second’, I hear Sorcha go, ‘Ross, I’m just popping out!’ I’m like, ‘Oh, fock!’, Dil Wickremasinghe: ‘We threw out the rule book for parenting our children’. It was a good change for me. "I love her and my kid so much, I'm glad she didn't tell me or else I wouldn't have this wonderful family in the world. Your life as you know it has been turned upside down, and in trying to answer the “What do I do?” question that you’ve asked of me, you’ve distanced yourself from the source(s) of what’s upsetting you while you work through your feelings and get a clear head. The child has no real concept of biology, infidelity and the complications of his mother’s actions. “If I leave, all three of us are screwed.”. I'm looking into getting all my child support back. This is the only advice that you should be taking here, other than don't take it out on the kid (not that I think you would OP), This is the very, very best advice. On top of that, you’re managing the idea that the child you believed to be yours is biologically not.

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