it's been 9 months since you passed away
Its too hard to live without them. Many days I cling stubbornly to the memories of him and even to the grief as I do not want to let anymore of him go. I HAVE TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE for my kids. Lost my wife of 35 years on 01/16/17 from early onset dementia. I miss you. After 1.5 years, I have yet to accept the finality of his death and keep expecting him to come back. Was just trying to forget my past and start over again a fresh start but all that came down hill when I was in college and had a panic attacked in one class realizing that it was time for me to deal with the truth. Fighting for our lives, our very existence. I know you will make the right decision what to do about your future. I truly wasnt planning to fall in love like I did with Richard. And that you do, move on with your life. He was 54. I feel like Im never going to have a good day again. I lost my husband Rick 10/2018. Even though my brother was in the military for twenty four years and had been gone most of the time from the family. That is due to family saying their final goodbyes, and now Im planning what next with my life. We had been married 49 years, and I still have no idea how to live without him. Either we can learn from these . I still shed a tear for her and look forward to the day I see her again in heaven. Trying to picture myself living another 30 to 40 years without him feels impossible. My boyfriend Michael passed away suddenly two years ago. So Ive decided to join her. A blessing one night though. I work full time sometimes 14 hours a day and Im exhausted. Love to all i feel your pain. all the time.God bless you. One user wrote the following heartfelt plea online: My friend just died. I dont feel like I can face a future without him. I lost my husband of 43 years on June 2016, on our sons 24th birthday. Many days its a struggle to just get out of bed. I dont mean always, but more often than I expect to. I hope everyone gets to love and be loved that much. This week for no particular reason has been extremely hard. The lord has a better plan for me. His wife passed away 20 years ago and he was left to raise 2 small boys. This week marks five years since my mom passed away. I do not belong in this world anymore. I dont have no desire to date. I know I will have to carry this pain around until I die too, because it will never ease. In 2015 something started to affect my wife of 32 years. A lot of us are going through the same exact thing you are going through. He was 45 when he passed I was 43. I lost my dad n 2009, my mom 2011, & most recently my husband 2016 after 35 yrs of marriage. But they didnt get chance to sell it before dad just suddenly fell and passed away. We started a church 8 years ago with a small group of people and our lives were filled with helping others and spending time with our kids & grandkids. Cant get interested in anything that I used to love! Now, though, it is hitting me that he is never coming back. After Losing the Love of My Life, I'm Dating for the First Time in Decades. Tho we were not blessed with children, i have a loving family, church, and friends. They got to return to their life. My new challenge going forward. Hi to all. I lost my husband 2 years ago very suddenly, we had been together 43 years. And nothing helps, no praying no counseling the kids are far. , Hi to group, i am exactly a year today of loosing my Beloved Husband, Yes its hard, you dont seem to have any time control, like lunch time dinner time bed time, i have spent this last year sleeping on the sofa, as like i said Time, why go to bed nobody else in the house, nobody saying bedtime, same for food, its not time for lunch nobody else in the house wants lunch, so you plod along, decorating and doing all the jobs my husband could not finish, keeps you going then you wonder why, then the grandkids call in for a sweet or somthing , and you plod on again and have a laugh gor a few moments, then the house is quiet, . Thank you, Kathy..I am so sorry your husbands life ended so needlessly.I would like to think your hubbys buddy is resting with him.my Katie ..my beautiful hound died 7 months after my hubby died and I KNOW she went to be with him..my 17 year old cat died one month before my hubby.so I do imagine them all together..keep strongthinking of you..hugs. I am 41 years old and I lost my wife and 14 year old son in a car accident 17 months ago. Marriage 16 mo ago. i thought i was getting a bit better getting on with things and losing the 3 stone i put on. With over 18 stays in the hospital and 29 procedures to keep her liver going. She too is an amazing person and as much as I know we shouldnt make comparisons, she has the same qualities I found in my wife. I knew she was the love of my life, and she felt the same. Perhaps- try some see a doctor about taking some thing mild to help you sleep but avoid dependence on sleep aids. He passed away on July 27 2018. Your email address will not be published. No matter how long it's been, there are times when it suddenly becomes harder to breathe. We had plans to move to a Sr. My life really feels over. I wish you peace. just feels worse this second year coming up to xmas. I found him within seconds. What to do now with the time Im given and the people before me? Fathers day. I have been off work for a month and finding hard to cope the thing that keeps me here is my grandkids.So for me the second year is worse maybe cause l was numb because l lost so much in one month all l do at the moment is live each day hoping tomorrow will be better. Its still there. My good friend @goodiepocket gave me the sweetest early birthday gift and he edited together a tribute video for Beemo from the hundreds of videos on my phone. He passed unexpectedly while on our first trip since retiring. They absolutely do not like him Ive just heard rumors about him and they give me total hard ache all the time. Happiness will come but the saddness is always there.. but you learn to smile again. Though I always feel that way. They are blessings. Im 72 years old I feel like I have to sneak around and hide out just to be with him it causes so much trouble so much stress we cant hardly enjoy being with each other because of my three grown kids. I'm in my 16 month. That actually happened a few times 2 of which seemed very real. We only had 11 years together but they where the best years Ive ever had. I took them for 2-3 weeks then went on a Mindfullness course and was able to stop the tabs easily. Good luck! What really helps is to volunteer helping others and stay busy. I will say that it is a wonderful feeling, but also, I still miss my husband. They are my life line; especially since I live in town without my daughter and grandchildren, or for that matter without my parents, brothers sisters and extended family. A second Christmas without a child. He recovered well, but took his life in January 2018. seems to be hitting me harder this year. My heart still beats, but my mind is not into anything. It was a very shocking and unexpected episode. He was 64. I hope for your best and for someone wiser than myself and more experienced than myself contribute to your (our) understanding. I have my cats but they are getting old too. As seasons go, you would probably consider this one very dark. I was her care taker 24/7, she was also my best friend and constant companion. You are in mourning feeling grief and sorrow at the loss. Though I never lied to them about all of this, theyve never seen me down. I struggle with everyday. Dont do holidays any more to sad nothing will ever be the same I talk to her always we use to go to vacation to ocean city Maryland thats where she wants her ashes spread that will be a tough day Im stuck in this sad lonly stall. While we may be by ourselves we are never truly alone, I feel your pain and now you know mine. I feel for all of you so much. I am 39, I could live a long time yet. I looked for evidence of our continuing togetherness from outside sources. I still cant believe hes gone. Greg, Your note is now so, long ago place here. I have wonderful family and I started going back to church after he died. I lost my husband of 19 years to cancer in 2003. You pick up the pieces and go on, to create a new life for you. Theyre trying to get there as fast as they can. He battled the beast for 21 months and never complained. The missing her is getting worse. I do have some hope to give you. I went thru it. Seriously! I feel so sorry that my wife had so much pain to go though and nothing could save her life. Rest, and take care of your body and mind, and let grief do its work. I have not hit 2 years yet. I hope you learn to cope with this terrible grief, I hope you have people who are kind and stay around you. But expectations are a big part of our mindset, even when were not in the stages of grief. That helps . Take it from an old guy. Seek family, friends or local grief help. Over time your focus will change, youll not lose him but you have to allow yourself to be distracted, the pain only eases when you do. It works. I have been dating again although I was not looking I started to date an Ex that I have older children by, I Dont feel right and feel guilty at times but it helps sometimes. He was my life he was the father of my beautiful children. There is an acceptance of his loss that has begun to take root. Best regards Conor. That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. very low bounce rate I pray daily that God would take me so that I could be with my wife. First put a start date in a cell, and an end date in another. I lost my mom that I took care of for almost 5 yrs and I saw her take her last breathe and its been two yrs now and people act like should be over losing her and when all the people that have been lost this year from covid 19 its just reminds of what and how I lost her. This is my second Christmas without him and I promise the nights for me are the worst. I am 50 years old, he passed at the age of 53. Unbeknownst to either of us he had a very enlarged heart. I identify with the fear of more & more time passing since he was here. My spouse passed away a limitless more than year ago . My older brother my only sibling. We had so many dreams I wouldnt know where to start sharing them. Linda, your comments really moved me because I totally agree with you. I havent decided if thats true or not yet. Now this week is his anniversary and Im a real crazy mess. I really like your attitude to life despite your huge loss. He was 74, had some health conditions, though not that serious & was relatively able, fit & healthy. I lost 2 strong important women in my family at the end of 2018. My husband passed 2.5 years ago leaving myself and my 6 young children devastated. He & I were always together & even had the same thoughts many times surprising ourselves when we spoke of them. I have been so sad lately; crying like it happened yesterday, asking, WHY again, unable to breatheand then I realized I was still experiencing the year of firsts.. this was the first year of no firsts.. My husband died 1 year ago. In this second year, I am torn between selling our home and moving (where I do not know). Has anyone else experienced a strong feeling of depression after months of grief? In year 2, Ive been thinking a lot lately about one more smile, a hug, a kiss, a conversation, a meal together. And youre right, In my mind, it feels like if I had that one more. I pray daily for all who mourn the death of a loved one or pet, O my, thankyou. Well in February 2017 the puppies went to their new homes. Warning: If the Start_date is greater than the End_date, the result will be #NUM!. Take one day at a time, keep your own pace, and take care of yourself the way your spouse would if only they were here thats a great way to honour them. Im still not eating properly but am realizing how malnourished I am as well. It does help to know that Im not some crazy women who doesnt know how to move on. I now am stronger. I can not and will not just put my son aside like he wasnt an amazing person. brain tumor surgery. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, youll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. Things are familiar, but not clear, not altogether solid. He had a massive heart attack but the insurance said he was not sick enough to have the tests to get treatment. But I get no answers God doesnt tell me why just to trust Him. I lost my beloved wife April 4th of 2018. Ill NEVER see him again. I still grieving my life totally revoved around them especially when mum got sick. I feel as though Im nothing. Now I was worried am I on the rebound am I needing to be with anyone . I've written letters to everyone who . The mom I used to know whom I went out to malls, consignment shops, coffee shops, was long, long gone for about a decade. Im struggling daily just to go on. He was losing weight so we went to the doctor on Friday they did a CAT scan the doctor came back in with the results said he was full of cancer and all of his organs all of his main organs . Very sad. I know theres no perfect people in this world and I understand that. I show up for life but just get my body there. Since then, I have no clue or direction with what to do with my life. The longer its been since weve seen them or heard their voice. You have left me a huge hole that no-one else can fill in my heart. I hope you are well, and have found solid ground on which to stand. he asked me in a parting note not to forget him, or my other brother who died in 2018 or my parents who went before. Im now 64 and hed be 61 but we were like he would be 61 but it was like kids meeting for the first time. I lost my wife after 37 years of marriage. Sending love and hugs to you all put there. The year anniversary of his passing will be Dec 5. He never wanted to have extended drawn sickness. We had a great marriage and we were grateful for all the years we had. I dont want it to be something that just passes. Now, Im in year two and I feel like Ive awoke from a coma. My husband died 2 years ago (his anniversary, April 20, 2019). Thank you. I know I dont want to live like this for any length of time anymore. There is no right or wrong, but while I have always been decisive, I now find myself unsure. Im sorry. He was retired and they always stood at the window and waved me off in the morning. After 6 months had passed I decided to go to the scene of the accident. He passed on January 28, 2018. I have done some traveling and there have been some good times but the memories always come back. I have found that others are more concerned about the death anniversary and the month surrounding it than I am. I was with my husband since 17 years old and 46 years married. We have good days and bad days but the longing is always there. I dont know at the moment what the day will provide. Ive been told several times that I should be over it by now. The little things that you wished you would have done more often, the I love yous you didnt say enough, even the Im sorry, just being able to hold them again, to have them come home. very strong family and friend network I feel so alone. I also am only 2 months in after the loss of my husband ..21 years of marriage and 5 children the latter of which keep me going ..he lives in them. Lost. The love of my life died almost 10 months ago, and I hardly remember a day. Life is not always what we want it to be and it is hard to comprehend and put into words just how you feel. But for now, that seems unlikely because when I dare to look out, all I see is the hazy, drab-blue sameness an endless ocean. My husband died at home just over one year ago. Made some new friends as well, attend a different church. Your skin loses its moisture and its elasticity, so it shrivels up a bit. Margaret, your husband died after 46 years of marriage last year and mine round the same time after 45 years. When I was 14/15 I met my bf we were friends good friends. My wife passed away just over 2 yrs ago. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. Now, its almost at the 2 year mark. It helps me all morning and day. So, I have been praying that God tell Mike that I am sorry and that I love him and miss him soooo much! (Still not sure how I managed to give birth to 4 children!). I cry and curse yet, but I am not debilitated on the floor for an afternoon. I have found the experience to be brutal, stripping, sapping, and completely devastating. He was my hero,Everything reminds me of him, Memories of our 8 year 28 day travel schedule, I was his caregiver, I been so hard to believe.. my superman is no longer here to talk to run ideas by, dinner movies, what our favorite shows like shark Tank, Love dtorties with, Exercise with,fuss with,getaways,dance with, hugs.. alll the above. Isolated judged alone. We had been married for 58 years. Im in a dead end relationship and basically just exist. Two hours later my daughter was wondering why Dad didnt reply all of her texts, she tried calling him many times but no answer, 45 minutes later a cop knocked on our door and told me he was in the ER, I didnt think much of it, my oldest daughter ran to the ER where he was ( we live a few feet away from the hospital) while I am taking care of my then 7 years old son. I have no fuse left, everything makes me mad and Im forever yelling at everyone and sometimes I even throw things. Wedding anniversary his birthday. I was just finishing my first semester of college and he was the father figure I never had. The former Bachelor in Paradise star penned a . It . But in between waves, there is life. I thank you so much for sharing. I lost my husband of 46 years , on our anniversary, just wam, bam out of the blue in summer of 2016. When a friend's parent passes away, it can be hard to know what to say to them. Patricia, your comments hit home. I hope you know you've been in our thoughts and heart every day since. Saying Im sorry for your loss doesnt cut it but being thru situations Im sorry youre lost because I know I am. I too see couples similar age to me together and think how lucky they are to have each other. Be kind to yourself and know that with time, it will begin to heal. I am doing new and different things to try and have a life, i enjoy these pursuits for a while, but everything seems so pointless when i return to our empty home, and the indescribable loneliness. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. I lost my grandfather who I was very close with. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. I have one regret that has sickened me this whole year, I wish with everything inside of me that I would have not let them give him the methadone and morphine but the choice was comfortable or in pain I chose comfortable not realizing that meant when they got the pain under control I nor my kids and grand-kids would never hear his voice again. My mother passed 9 months after daddy after years of suffering from Alzheimers. He did his nightly walked, went to the store and picked up milk and bread which he always does, before he left I asked him if I could come but he said no then he gave each of us a kissed on the forehead and said hell be right back, he then told me to get the kids in bed as there was school the next day. But it dont change how i feel or why. Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers and hopes for your own grief process. Today is the one year mark of my fathers passing and i can honestly say im no closer today than a year ago to finding any relief from the heartache i have felt since he left us. He was my first love my only love. Feb 11, 2012 7:42 AM. I dont want it and I envy those who die soon after their loved spouse passes. My mom will be gone 2 years this coming May. For everyone concerned. A year had passed. Read as much as you can and talk an listen as much as you can and find the way through this. So many things bring tears and despaireven just going to the garage to get a tool reminds me of the dreams connected to those tools. Last night, I had the most powerful dream! Humans have the capacity to share themselves with another press. Eileen, I can relate to how you feel. It is very hard to look at all these people in the face and lie with a smile on your face, telling them that youre okay.. No wife or kids. Year 3 I thought it has to get easier, and in many ways it has. Maybe its some physical thing. Its hard for me to keep a job or any type of relationship. I lost my soulmate 23 months ago and am surprised at the intensity of my sorrow. It helps a great deal to know that grieving beyond one year is normal. I have no passion for anything and I feel an immense guilt that wont go away. I lost my 2 boys 2 years ago mike 37 april 20,2016 and chris september 20,2016 this year seeme like the shock and realization is comig back, My heart aches. I lost my younger sister to sepsis January this year. I needed to move on. I thought that by this time (14 months) it would hurt less. Life is filled with pain and I cant find the balance without my husband. It broke my heart to watch him suffer. I try to stay busy but most of the time its just around our house. Hopefully as more time passes it will get easier. I have a thousand other feelings: guilt about all the I should haves, missing the tender times, missing the humor only we shared, gratitude for the wonderful man he was, etc. Pamela. "Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sigh" - Rossiter Worthington . I was sitting there totally blank, I want to cry knowing he wont be able to come home with us but theres nothing, I was trying to processed what happened but I just dont get it. Why am I so weak when I should be strong knowing that we always have to lose someone. I hope your finding your way grief is personal and the hardest life lesson Ive had to learn I am conflicted as I proceed. This loss has left me feeling like i have lost all ability to find any happiness. So I know that feeling. I often wonder why this all happened and why so close together, I needed my husband Pat to help me grieve for Cody. But Im thankful I have had someone in my life that has meant so much that Im devasted not to be with him right now. The first year was missing my wife and being sad for my daughters. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. Dad in January so I have no family. Strange to say but after reading all the comments I feel validated. He was my closest friend and confidant. I feel hopeless and just want this horrible life to be over. At the time before my husband died my wee doggie was expecting puppies. Dear Dad, It's been one year and one month since you're gone. that is life. They call that your new normal. [Verse] It's been nine months since you passed away Exactly nine months, nine months today It hasn't got easy, nothing's numbed the pain From time to time, I still call you by mistake I still . And I still miss you, I can't image life without you. Synonyms for PASSED AWAY: fallen, gone, deceased, declining, departed, defunct, lifeless, deteriorating; Antonyms of PASSED AWAY: live, alive, living, existing . Sudden death is what they called it, his kind and gentle heart just stopped beating. happy again. We were together for 3 years every day n night. Not everyone is like that just some of us. These things help ME and every one is different but I would go completely mad if I didnt keep busy. I keep thinking if I pray hard enough, wish hard enough and love hard enough, he will come back to me. Thank you. Then, I ended up getting sick from malnutrition. Dont be afraid of it, embrace it. He and mum lived in Ireland and me and my two brothers visited them regularly. Hello Robert. Yes Tania. Now in year two Im dealing with unresolved grief for my daughter and the emotions I pushed so far down are now bubbling to the surface. Having lost my Mother when I was young @ 29. Now Im at Year 4. I took care of him during his last two years . I talk to my husband. Which I fear for my partner as he is so lovely and loves me dearly but I cant let him in too much. Crying every day is my normal now. The first few months of the second have been harder for me than any of the FIRSTS of the first year, Miss him everyday, My mom passed last May of 2017 and it will barely be a year this May and I dont know why but I am having a hard time, harder then when she first passed. She went to hospice, but at least I was My third recommendation is a book titled Overcomer by Dr. David Jeremiah. My dog had her puppies on on Xmas day my husband was put to rest two days before Xmas. There are still things in life you must accomplish. May God bless you and comfort you on your journey. Take care all of you & we know were not alone experiencing this. They tell me they are mourning too but are moving forward. She made it 7days. But it doesnt oh yes maybe the tears dont flow as much. So much its crazy. He told me, thats how you cope with grief, you need to talk about it over & over until finally you stop. Why is God so cruel? The message she left for me was, to take it day by day. In July 2016, we decided to move to Wichita so he could closer to his family. My only advice from a husband perspective is dont be afraid to find someone to love again. Im angry at everyone, especially myself. That pain you feel, it is love but in another guise. I keep thinking why! I had started running at 56 years old, when he got sick, to keep me sane. Dear Everyone who is suffering and grieving a lossI hear and feel your pain and suffering. So. My great uncle Moe Doerfler will be gone for 2 years on September 23rd and I sure miss him. I broke down n a Lowes store, felt ridiculous, & left. Im not sure if people are afraid to ask me over to their house or what. If God gives us a window, I too am waiting. I am trying to live in hope that things will get better. Thats for sure. I could see the tree that was snapped in half. Then, I felt nothing. Minimizing change gives the cat time to come to terms with the loss of a companion cat. So these last few days when it hit me hard, he has been understanding and supportive, and knows why Im suddenly sleeping 9-10 hrs/night and hardly able to do anything during the day. This second year is so hard in a different non-surreal way. Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. As if you couldnt have loved him or her as less than a mother or father or a wife. He was diagnosed with GBS syndrome. I beg for him to come home every day. You were and always will be the love of my life. I rember the first few days after mums passing I thought I could hear my mums foot steps walking with me, I thought I could see zmy mum in the streets to me she was still here. I have an idea. "It will lessen as we learn to cope with it," she insists. My son rolled a diesel tanker and it ejected him out and rolled on him and crushed him. But mostly not going to my mums everyday. I go out with my friends and volunteer but as soon as I get home I go right down. We did everything together. Peace be with you all. You can use the IRS' Where's My Refund? I new I had to cope for them and my own sanerty. Its the awful realization that she is really gone and will never return and be a part of my life again. He died suddenly in war. I dont want to go anywhere but have to. It seem to get relief then it always comes back around. It took at least a year to realize that the evidence I would get was the fact I held on to him. He battled stage 4 lung cancer (also never smoked) for 7 1/2 years. I am 75, married 44 years to the sweetest , caring man one could ask for. Okay, I am a big baby when it comes to being in pain. It was completely unexpected as he was fairly young and never had health issues. Do not look for it, you already have it. When you lose someone that close to you it is the one time when you can tell the whole world to go jump in a lake if it expects you to get on with things. Doctors said it was rare and implied we were lucky that he lived as long as he did. So I guess according to her, I should be done with it. She was 2 when he went and she is robbed of her loving gramps. I too lost a beloved Uncle in May 2020, not from Covid19, quite suddenly. Who I am very proud to have and love them all dearly. It isnt any easier if it happens early or later than anticipated. When he died, a part of me died with him. All I do is cry. 26 Likes, TikTok video from Chantra Keobunta (@chantrakkeobunta): "It's been a little over 2 months since my Mom passed away. My siblings grieve with me, maybe they handle their emotions better. I gave up everything of my old life when I came home and I dont regret a minute of it but now I feel so lost. Eric, Im now at 27 months and he is still incredibly fresh in my thoughts everyday. I wish there was a bigger word than love that could describe how I felt for her. Anne, and others, so sorry for your losses as well. I cry daily and wish I was the one who passed, Robin I am with you almost two years for me after 30 years of a wonderful marriage. I function. We loved, lived and laughed lots.. God bless you all. It may be when we meet in the hereafter. Hope for the future feels like nothing more than pretty words for fairy tales. The first is a book by the author Megan Devine, Its OK That Youre Not OK. I loved My wife 12/15/2018 just a week before Christmas Just a week before that she got to see most of her family at her grandmothers funeral. I dont like to eat, but water for months. Im just so heavy hearted hearing everyones stories.