depressed boyfriend broke up with me
I was sad for him and sad for us. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. With them, you will build a great space of trust and support. So if youre wondering why your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, heres the answer youre looking for. If anyone wants to connect and talk through it together, I would love that because none of my friends have been through this before to really advise :/. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alonehow Do I Show Him That We Can Be Together? I love him too much to watch him move on with someone else, that want him to be happy but I cant watch it. So stay in no contact, get therapy, and do your best to get over your ex. I know that he suffered with depression when he was a teenager, and with the stress of his new job he started to withdraw from activities and pastimes he once loved. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. He said he doesnt want to hurt me anymore than he already has. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. When he broke up with me he was so cold and distant, as if he were a completely different person. My boyfriend and fiance of 5 1/2 years dumped me last night. People might also have a higher chance of getting depressed if they have been through a previous depressive episode, or they have a family history of depression. How did things evolve for you? I got to know through his friends that he has now focused more towards religion & has also mentioned that relationships arent working for him at all. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. Im going through the same situation. If your boyfriend pretended to be depressed, you need to know that he used a very common Its not you, its me excuse. He fooled you into pitying him and leaving him alone so he could do whatever he wanted to do. I am in no contact, its been 2 weeks. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Its what he needs to stop feeling the negative emotions he broke up with you for. Share your thoughts below. They cant just fix everything they need to fix because they think their exes are a big part of their issues. 4) How do I move on from a relationship that was truly amazing & just broke off due to circumstances? Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. Studies suggest that people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. How long did it take? Things will make much more sense when you regain emotional independence. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. I know I cant fix him so Im slowly starting to accept he may not deal with it or come back. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. He is feeling depressed and he wants to fix it. He said he has thought about about it a lot and he hasnt been truly happy for a while and doesnt feel the same as he used to. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. He decided that the best way to deal with smothering emotions was to get space from them and not deal with them at all. We had a great relationship so I thought. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. He told me he was getting better when I asked him if his new meds were workingwhy doesn't he think we can work as a team and get through this, if I have made it clear that I'm more than willing? I supposed telling the truth would make them feel even more depressed as theyd hurt their partners and bring a strong undesirable reaction out of them. As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday and I cant stop crying. If your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression that hes had for months or longer, this can be considered long-term and means that he slowly changed his opinion of you and lost the energy and will to fight. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. This protective effect disappeared if an adoptive parent had major depression or if the adoptive home experienced parental death or divorce during childhood/adolescence. This will make you feel connected and loved, as it will also give you a space to talk about your feelings and be supported. Follow Posted 4 years ago, 5 users are following. He does this because people close to him have a lot of expectations, requests, and sometimes even demands. This can happen if they dealt with what was going in with them, and still have feelings for you. Tharu. Time does help just a bit too slow. Child Health; Heart Health . And it is a grieving process. Understand how each of you is responsible for caring for others, but at the same time, the other person is not responsible for fulfilling your every need.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If, at any time, you see it is needed, find couples counseling, this will help you both deal with the challenges that may come. He lost his mum, dad, and 2 best friends all in the space of 2 years. I thought he might be depressed so I brought him flowers & food almost everyday although he didnt want to talk to me; hed barely looked at me in the face. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. Just good times when we were physically together. During this time we barely fought and were super compatible--we were always joking around and having fun. Always consult your doctor about your medical conditions. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. If your ex-boyfriend decided to protect himself from getting hurt, you should too. He was diagnosed with clinical depression a year ago because of a suicide attempt. hello, im going through something similar. One might experience stressors in their lives in the form of mishaps,tragedies and accidents such as death of a close one, experience of a natural disaster,divorce,abuse or social isolation etc.People who suffer from chronic diseases like cancer,neurodegenerative disorders may also show symptoms of depression.According to DSM-5 environmental pollutants could be a possible cause too. Even being apart, we would call, videocall, text, watch movies together, listen to musics together, play games, every single day and whenever it was possible. Depression is a mood disorder in which normal functioning of an individual slows down and may become null if left untreated. Everything in our relashionship went well, as usual, until when she started her 2nd year of college in September 2020. i have Bipolar NLP, Its a bit different but much of the same. I understand why the break up happened because he has too many things to deal with. He could never out me first, no matter how much I gave I got nothing in return. the thing was he could happily text me when he was horny or just for general speak. You can't wait around forever, but what you can do is try to live your life well and if things turn around, great - if not, you've still got your life. I want back what we had. She had to rent another place close to her college. Im going through the same thing. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. She doesnt know why she wake up mean and irritated towards me, and that she is afraid she will keep feeling this way and hurt me. Theres no guarantee that your ex will come back after hes dealt with depression, but if he starts dating again and gets hurt (or gets hurt in some other way), he could seek solace in you and try to obtain your validation. I can relate so much to this. He broke up with me yesterday but wants to stay friends I saw him on Thursday and although he was already down, it went well. boyfriend broke up with me because of depression, my boyfriend broke up with me because of depression. I was not a perfect stepmother and it ruined his love. And he believes him. For now, give him the space he needs and focus on yourself. They might start to push people away, as a way to not hurt others, and that is when they might break up with their partners. While hes doing that, its best that you stay away from him and give him the space he needs. You will also learn how to help your partner get over the dark phase and ways to reconnect and rebuild your relationship with him. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Taking a temporary job he dislikes. So lets discuss what are ways to cope with a breakup. Be respectful, genuine, and careful. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. It's run by a man, John Folk-Williams, who has lived through this himself. The only difference is that depressed dumpers blame the breakup on their depression whereas normal dumpers dont. My boyfriend has a terrible relationship with his dad. Ask him if there is something else making him feel so down and low. It depends on how much time has passed since the end of the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-2','ezslot_9',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-2-0'); Knowing if one of you has moved on is also an aspect to consider about them going back. So dont think that hell run back to you the moment he feels better. I have been writing a journal on everything that happened from the day, how I felt and what my thoughts were in details. He could be so selfish and inconsiderate to the point that he did hurt me with his actions, but I always put it down to his own trauma. Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. No arguments. She may think of herself as a burden and would want you to be free. Does he still talk to you or at least try to. He needs to know hes not that person anymore and that you know your worth. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. I also gave birth 5 hours after his mum passed so I strongly believe he has a lot of emotions that hasnt dealt with. https://www.healthcentral.com/amp/article/depressed-boyfriend-broke-feels-needs-alone-how-show-together, My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), Excessive crying or inability to cry even when they want to. Does he miss me? I know he really cares about me. He has not responded to any of my texts or phone messages. Healthy dumpers tend to make excuses, blame their ex, or just explain why things happened the way they did. PsychReel do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. My boyfriend broke up with me the other day because of depression. I responded to you on the other article you commented. Your boyfriend might be pushing you away for fear of disappointing you or making you unhappy. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Your blog & articles truly helps me find my way during these tough times. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. Weeks go by and the pain hasnt gotten any better. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. There's also a good blog, called Storied Mind, that has a lot of postings from people in the same spot you're in. But that will most frequently happen when they have a better mental state. Things between us were still the same as before, we were still loving each other and being happy, but i could tell that it was also slowly changing and getting different, and that she was changing too. One day, youre helping your boyfriend with his stressors, and the next, he no longer appreciates your help and wants to be in a relationship. Insight desperately needed. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. I would try to make plans and he would always say "maybe" and then eventually would agree, although sounding like he had no interest. They would have expressed how they felt and looked for solutions to work together despite their mental health illness. If your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression (and didnt just pretend to be depressed), his emotional well-being meddled with his ways of thinking and slowly forced him to fall out of love with you. I had a traumatic run in with my ex abusive parenter and needed him. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. It can also make them feel like they have no energy, as well as being isolated. With proper communication you will be able to understand the true nature of your partners mental illness thereby helping him in getting a proper cure. Well just make it simple and split them up into two types; long-term and short-term. Depression is so peculiar couples break up because of it and also get back together because of it (because they want help). Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . Coming here and reading this article and all these comments, somehow makes me feel better. Genes are not the only factor responsible though. The same is true for your ex. Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off. Most people rely on external things for happiness. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. Along with that, your partner can become controlling.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_16',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); This is something that usually escalates as time goes by, and its main focus is to remove the persons autonomy and independence. It makes you feel powerless with nothing helpful to say and do. Everything was going well in our relationship, occasional fights here & there but nothing truly significant. It has been commonly understood that positive symptoms of schizophrenia decline in later life, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#Helping a depressed spouse. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. Read self-help books together to understand how to deal with depression and make a list of everything that could help him get out of the slump comfortably. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. He even apologized for the relationship being one sided that he was sorry for neglecting me for 2 or 3 weeks and would do better. I am so torn right nowalthough we have only been together for a short time (four months), what we had was real. And that only leaves you with one thing to do. But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. Hed rather distance himself from you (and probably others as well) and spend as much time alone as possible. This whole time I thought we were endgame so I am devastated and was so blind sighted. After I got these thoughts out of my chest I knew I had to move on.I know I am doing all the right thing now I have exercised regularly; I have decided to get out of my bubble to get a job again to be involved with people/society; I have decided to refresh my wardrobe and look to feel good again about myself. It wasnt my first relashionship but it was my first long-distance relashionship, i was unsure back then how to handle one or if it was even possible to keep. He didn't stay overnight or anything drasticbut it was a breaking point for him and he was prescribed new medication and sees a psychiatrist. Her 5 roomates that shares the house werent there at all, and due to covid some of them had to cancel the lease, so she ended up paying more bills than she planned before moving. I just want him to be happy and I wish I could help him. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. In this post, well talk about what to do if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. How did things evolve for you both ? Did you guys stay friends or start dating again? But when you are in one with depression, an important thing to do is understand and learn more about the condition. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. Manage Settings So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions. You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. We're both 17. A breakup caused by depression can be difficult to foresee and interpret. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. Its also you because he associated unpleasant emotions with you and let those emotions suffocate him and affect his feelings for you. Im just so confused as the best way to be with him if it is depression. As a dumpee, you likely cant tell whether your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth or if hes just unhappy with you. Hes just relieved and elated and is going through the stages of a breakup for the dumper. Affairs arent the only problems, she says. Let him take some time, give him some space. He said he was sorry for things not working out and that he didnt have the energy to try. If your friend is going through a tough time with clinical depression, here are some of the best gifts you can give them: There are many ways in which you can take a step forward to solve the situation of unrest in your life. Im just hurting so bad and I dont want him to throw away something so great. This can make them feel even more guilty about their condition. He broke up with me. If you want him back then you're going to have to make a few changes. He told me the other day he started to feel bad again recently and he needs to take a break and that he didnt want to do this because he knew how much it would hurt me and it made him so upset. Boyfriend mention to me he didnt want to go to see his granddaughter because he didnt have the energy. If anything, it will increase his need for space and make him want to come back even less. Last night he sent me a message and said ever since he talked to his mother about the divorce it scares him and he cant marry me. In my case my ex associated me with negative memories relating to issues with his son. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Then we got really close, and our feelings grew stronger and we decided to take it a step further and be in couple. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? And he cant adult right now. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. Surely, they wouldnt want someone to do the same to them when theyre struggling. They can try to make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship, and with that, the relationship might become co-dependent. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. At some point, he started thinking If I break up with my girlfriend, I can finally start focusing on myself instead of having to worry about her problems. Thats because he may not let go of the negative thoughts and emotions he associated with you. maybe we can talk privately? Theyre the people who have your best interests at heart and are more than happy to prove that by helping you when youre feeling down. It usually causes them to have a more negative vision of themselves, so they might feel like a burden to people, which can cause them to distance themselves. It breaks my heart. If you need assistance for mental health issues, please seek expert opinion and assistance immediately.The information on this page is not designed to replace a doctor or physician's independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure for a given patient nor does it represent a diagnoses or advice. Remind him about his goals and dreams 2. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and, unfortunately, you aren't alone (or maybe that will make you feel better). As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not happy with himself and that he feels like he's changed. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. know what could happen for them to have a better relationship in the future.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'psychreel_com-portrait-1','ezslot_23',127,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-portrait-1-0'); This article showed why a depressed boyfriend might break up with their partner. That was the only way he could stop investing time and energy in you and feeling pressured into doing things he didnt want to do. Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? I also dated a guy for six months, had a crazy connection, then he broke it off because he was depressed and lost. His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. Hes incapable of receiving it and doing anything with it because your presence alone reminds him of the past and drains his limited energy. If your boyfriend broke up with you because of your depression, all I can tell you is that you deserve better. Making someone happy is a difficult skill 3 More answers below Anonymous 7 y By distancing himself from you, he can stop worrying about your wants and needs and focus only on his. He told me to focus on myself too and work on myself and whenever Im sad to use that as motivation. If there was something that wasnt as great or emotionally unhealthy in the relationship, it might be hard for them to come back to it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-4','ezslot_11',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-4-0'); Having a mental illness doesnt make it impossible for a person to have a relationship. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. It has happened to me too. It made him think that he didnt have enough time, energy, willpower, and love to stay in a relationship with you and that he needed to find happiness without you. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. Depression often causes breakups, especially if it goes untreated. They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. He also said he doesnt want to be friends or see me frequently because thatll just make moving on harder for him. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. Very helpful is also storiedmind.com. We were both survivors of abusive relationships but only I was dealing with the trauma. I really feel like talking to someone who is in the same shoes to feel better although I dont know if that would make both feel better. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. We had planned our future together, about getting an apartment and maybe having kids. What Eckard means is that people depend on external sources for happiness and your ex will probably as well. In his own words: He thinks things through and makes deliberate, purposeful decisions. As an understanding partner, you should keep your calm and try to get into the root of the problem through communication. They tend to run away from problems and the negative emotions they connect with their exes as solving difficult problems requires a lot of willpower and dedication. Motivating him during times of distress and helping him follow a disciplined lifestyle may reduce his depressive symptoms. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Did you guys talk again? Besides getting professional help, as a partner and more than that as a friend, you should be supportive and kind to him. I kid you not, I felt like my entire world shattered. Ive been there for him this whole time but he never once got help. His dad bullys and even choked him, constantly makes him feel like hes not enough. But everything, all of that, vanished this Tuesday, 3 days ago. Fear of getting hurt: Sometimes, depression is so difficult to deal with anything else feels too scary. That way, youll exude high levels of self-control and show him that you understand what hes going through and that you truly care about him. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. Everything went for the best, and we would travel to see each other during summers and winters. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. And to think that this man was so in love with me just a month ago..i just feel like i don't know what to do or where we stand. A bad one, too. Along with that, the article explained how a person can cope with a breakup.